Joe's Rambles
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Reflections
As I sit back and reflect upon my life, upon my triumphs and my failures, I get a sense of what went wrong. I get a sense of why I rebelled as hard and as fast as I did. See, I grew up in a very conservative church. Long hair was a sin (not that I would grow my hair long, I hated hippies), facial hair could be seen as a sign of an attitude problem (Hey, I wanted to grow facial hair! What teenage boy does not!). Wearing shorts was a sin. Swimming with the opposite sex was seen as tempting sin and discouraged. Holding hansd with your gal was discouraged. Dancing was out. Alcohol was the devil's brew. This is a sin, that is a sin...and if we ain't named it...well it might be a sin too! There was lots of judging (maybe in order to pacify their own mind regarding their own sins?) The problem was the standard was set at an unrealistic high, the bar never surmountable. All you were faced with was failure to reach this mythical standard. All you had was failure. You were forever like Sisyphus trying to roll the stone up the impossible hill.
What else could I do with constant failure? Failure that over shadowed any semblance of grace? Why...the answer is clear. Develop a clear cut case of self hatred. Despise yourself. Kill the flesh; no matter the cost to your mind.
When I rebelled I rebelled hard. The shackles were off and I was on a permanent Rumspringa. What is wrong with that picture? It's a picture that leads to a mental breakdown. That is a yoke , the yoke of legalism Christ never intended. What was missing was Grace.
Forgive your brother 70 * 7, keep forgiving the contrite person. When they offend you, forgive. Grace. Grace. Grace. And Mercy. That is what Christ offered. His harsh words were not for the sinners. No! He ate and drank with sinners, he ministered to the "scum" of the earth. His damnations were reserved for those religious figures with the faux-piety and pseudo-righteousness; those that would place the yoke on others, point out the speck in others' eyes while ignoring the beam in their own eye. Hypocrisy. No more.
No more will I allow myself to be brought under the bondage of another man's condemnation! No more will I judge myself by the standard that man places upon me (a standard they themselves can not keep). No more. Grace. Mercy. Christ! That is what I will strive to imitate. Will I fail. Yes. And so will you. But will I so despise and hate myself for everything little failure until such hatred because an all consuming entity that burns my mind mind and rips my flesh? Never more! I will reach up to Christ when I fall and call upon Grace! Mercy! Call upon the forgiveness that Christ offers...even when men disagree with that forgiveness, and learn from it and grow in Christ. Never more will I judge others just to silence the little voice that screams at me my own judgment...a judgment that is of man and not Christ. Grace! Mercy! Christ!
What else could I do with constant failure? Failure that over shadowed any semblance of grace? Why...the answer is clear. Develop a clear cut case of self hatred. Despise yourself. Kill the flesh; no matter the cost to your mind.
When I rebelled I rebelled hard. The shackles were off and I was on a permanent Rumspringa. What is wrong with that picture? It's a picture that leads to a mental breakdown. That is a yoke , the yoke of legalism Christ never intended. What was missing was Grace.
Forgive your brother 70 * 7, keep forgiving the contrite person. When they offend you, forgive. Grace. Grace. Grace. And Mercy. That is what Christ offered. His harsh words were not for the sinners. No! He ate and drank with sinners, he ministered to the "scum" of the earth. His damnations were reserved for those religious figures with the faux-piety and pseudo-righteousness; those that would place the yoke on others, point out the speck in others' eyes while ignoring the beam in their own eye. Hypocrisy. No more.
No more will I allow myself to be brought under the bondage of another man's condemnation! No more will I judge myself by the standard that man places upon me (a standard they themselves can not keep). No more. Grace. Mercy. Christ! That is what I will strive to imitate. Will I fail. Yes. And so will you. But will I so despise and hate myself for everything little failure until such hatred because an all consuming entity that burns my mind mind and rips my flesh? Never more! I will reach up to Christ when I fall and call upon Grace! Mercy! Call upon the forgiveness that Christ offers...even when men disagree with that forgiveness, and learn from it and grow in Christ. Never more will I judge others just to silence the little voice that screams at me my own judgment...a judgment that is of man and not Christ. Grace! Mercy! Christ!
posted by Joe at 10:06 PM
15 Comments:
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